i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad

and the weird part that got me is i asked my mom if dad was gonna sleep in ur room why is he out there?, she said dont worry about it. Depending on your age, you can seek help on your own. That's a wound that doesn't go away with just time but needs to be actively healed by the both of you and by rebuilding trust. Speak more loudly than usual to maintain a greater social distance. He has without a doubt destroyed my life and my ability to trust anyone. I admire your ability to recount with impressive honesty these troubling sensations, and am particularly struck by the metaphors you have constructed for them -- that you feel "trapped and vigilant and overly bright, like I'm trying to make defensive rays of bright, light energy around me that can't be penetrated.". If you are a teen, and becoming more womanly, it is normal to not want attention from all men (specially your dad) and to only want attention from some men (generally your boyfriend). Child, I am so sorry this has happened to you. The views expressed by individual users are the responsibility of those users and do not necessarily represent the position of the Church. You are NOT being "too sensitive" your mind is telling you something is wrong, because it is. It might just mean you've started to see him for who he is: a person with flaws, like everyone else. I broke up with him after that. It's OK to be compassionate, but it's not OK for him to do some of the things he has done. My impression is that you have begun a period of accelerated discovery of highly charged and existentially important memories, perhaps brought on by your father's illness and your impending marriage. Nothing less Talk to a counselor online, anytime. Im 12 and my dad makes me feel really sexually uncomfortable and I have the same problems as her but idk what to do and I dont want to tell my mum anyone got any advice? when i was younger he had terrible anger issues and was emotionally abusive to my mom. You are stronger than you know and that is also in your favor. That is very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to the kids involved. I go into my dads room and hes in bed playing with himself. If its the former, yay! Usually if you feel uncomfortable, there's a reason. Your journey is just beginning and it is going to be a long one. I remember that when I was around two or three my dad used to watch porn in front of me, so I don't know if that has something to do with it. I don't talk to him on the phone either. Heres what I recommend: Ask your dad if you can have a little talk. Read More >. Im 42. My grandfather watches a lot of porn and I remember telling my grandma and mom about it when I found out, but my grandma said "That's what men do." And I'd be on to other things -- with bells on, let me tell you. Im 22 and I have been treated bad by a older guy, but I was experiencing these things before that happened. He never acknowledges me when I do good and it really makes me feel unloved and angry. Ad Choices, "Youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior. When I was around 16, he introduced me to pornography, masturbation, and has also been involved in inappropriate touching. Sister walks naked around the house when parents are not around and this is extremely uncomfortable for me. If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button. Are these relatively safe, or do you get into trouble talking on the phone with them? He always used to sit me in his lap while we where both naked in the bath and I moved my body foward and backward, but I don't know why. It just means that some things have come up right now that you have to deal with. But, as always, not knowing. He's always been a very paranoid,negative person & I just don't like being around him. Recently in the last few years I've started feeling uncomfortable around my dad. It's a low self esteem issue created by these terrible people in her childhood. Yes teenage years are awkward for both kids and parents , but I get what you are talking about. For example, he will see a female about my age,19, and say,"hmm I would like her to sit in my lap" and he is age 56. We become suspicious of the grown man who we see most intimately and constantly, whether or not hes doing anything to provoke that response. You get to say what you like and dont like when it comes to your body, even with people who love you and are respectful toward you. My dad has a lot of child trauma, and therefore has multiple sides. How can I leave them alone at Christmas? If you feel uncomfortable then that is already reason enough! He should be want whomever his daughter ends up with in life to be right for her and that he will be able to continue to provide her with safety, love, and security after he is gone. I don't want his life to end on this tragic note. Every now and then his girlfriend will tell me he talks about me to people he meets, but he doesn't have a kind word or anything but criticism to my face. But he should be able to work through those feelings without leaning on you. "For example, things like not taking off your . He helped me get the info(whatsapp, facebook, text messages, call logs etc) I needed faster and cheaper than I had imagined. I dont know what to do and I dont want to be judgmental but I do want to help my family. No part of this website can be reproduced in any form without prior written consent.All rights reserved var year = new Date();var yyyy = year.getFullYear();document.write(yyyy); RawConfessions.com. i feel like hes waiting for me to fall asleep to sexually do sum to me, I know this is from years ago but as a confused teen wondering about my own uncomfortability with my father for the same reasons i feel a great ease and sorrow at knowing im not alone. Why do Black women get triple-negative breast cancer more often? Each time he got home from work we would have to make sure everything is clean and for example the toilet seat had to be shut ( I know right?) I decided to hire him and I am glad I did. I keep having flashes of him raping me as well. The person who violated me sexually also smoked around me as a child. Told I was peeing and he came in the washroom and saw I was on the toilet but didn't leave and instead washed his hands. But I knew that somewhere in all this, it was my dad. Hope you found someone to talk to. He's such sad,. Every time he tries to give me a kiss I try to kiss him on his cheek but he makes me kiss his lips and sometimes he tries to do more than that. But I had never had anything like that happen before. My father the most at that point. To choose your username either log in or sign up. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. May 30, 2014 | AAAA AskGramps Website, Life's Lessons | 5 comments, I dont know what to do and I dont want to be judgmental but I do want to help my family. I felt really uncomfortable and told him I wasn't sure about what was going on, but he kept trying to kiss on me. Thank you for sharing your story. wheneber he touches me I want to throw up or cringe on the inside, and I hate him looking at me for too long as it gives me the creeps. He said, "Its your problem. Have you been treated inappropriately by older men in your past? I've gotten counseling about this on and off for the past 15 years. Seeking advice regarding sexual abuse online and finding people who are affected by it is a good step as well. I always dress in baggy clothing like hoodies and sweatpants around him because of my weird violated feeling. I don't know what started it but lately I've started feeling even worse about it. I think you should call somewhere like the kidshelpphone.ca to get more indepth advice than what you can get here. Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress. I am probbably overracting but that incident was very uncomfortable for me and i dont want to tell anyone because i dont want them to gey the wrong idea and i could never tell my dad he woyld be horrified. Love doesnt mean you have to suffer. After all, he helped raise you. Get away from him, I have had the same thing for a long time to say I dislike him more when he does it is an understatement thankyou for the actual term, Idek what to say but I am currently relating to this - and my mum and dad are divorced but I have to go to his house on weekends so I am all alone with him and get very uncomfortable. In an ideal world, I could cross my legs around and around like a cinnamon goddamn twistie. i always Feeling an urge to cover up or fear when he walks behind? Maybe you can get help at this number. Find out more about non-penetrative sex, and why it deserves more credit. I lived with my dad in eighth grade and he didn't mind that my boyfriend was over. I have always felt like I have to dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me. he was very controlling and the more I think about it the more I categorize this as emotional and verbal abuse. Please help me Gramps. Izzy1234 Add comment as: Your discomfort is what matters here, not whether or not your dad is doing anything morally wrong. My mom and dad are still together. Avoid open-ended visits with your parents. I want to make everything all right, let it go. And my dad -- the poor, old, broken being -- when my mom confronted him about this (she had permission from me this time), he denied ever having done anything sexually inappropriate with me or my brother. My mom pulled me aside and questioned me further, and I said I found something on my computer that I didn't like. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. A guide to deciphering recycling codes on beauty products. You need to (1) report the matter to the local police so they can run an investigation onyour dad and try to figure out how bad it is. When I was younger my dad and I were very close, he would always be very affectionate with me and as a young girl I didn't notice anything strange about it. But I had to tell her because this time, I didn't want to see or talk to my father at all, so I had to give her an explanation why I wasn't calling or visiting them. I want to be there to give him love at Christmastime, too. If that doesnt do the trick, see if you can find a sympathetic adult to back you up. It will take work and faith. I am absolutely at a loss. I'd do the "Artist's Way" or something, become clearer in my life, and up it would pop -- still no memory, but a stark, unignorable presence. Is that enough, too much, and whats ahead with COVID vaccines? Im worried about my dad and the influence hes brought to me and this family. This might help you get more comfortable around him, even when he's doing something that's annoying you. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know hes thought unclean things about me. But its not. A vacation with them?! By There is a whole range there -- from staying in their house to seeing them across a crowded room. am I being too sensitive? You may be thinking, What?! If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. In fact, youre paying them a compliment: youre telling them you trust that theyd never want to make you feel uncomfortable. My [M17] teacher [F??] Unwise!! First, to take care of yourself, you need control over your space and time. Start feeling better today. Send your questions to Jaclyn. But I can't -- it's come too far now. If they do, it is only online. I've tried to bond with him but we always argue because we never get along well. I'm only thirteen and I told my mother about my father but she thought that I was just being sensitive. But then, this last summer, two things happened that have made this finally unavoidable and undroppable. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. I always feel uncomfortable around my father ever since I was young. I don't know how to take care of myself and still be compassionate with them. toughlove1993 Read More >, This has never happened in our family before. He's just always been there & that's why I feel so uneasy around him. It is human nature to take sides in matter like this. gymrat44 replied to fcl 's response: I can't think of anyone to feel more comfortable with when being naked. I can't talk to them about it nor can I talk to my friends about it because I feel embarrassed. Many incidents throughout the years like this have happened. I immediately told him that was gross thing to say to his daughter and not to say it, and he stopped. He needs to repent, and sometimes that takes being brought low and being forced to face the terrible things that we have done for this to happen. I eventually gained the courage and told him to go home. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive to this or if there's some legitimate reason behind my feelings. I woke up this morning with my vaginna swollen like it just felt as if its been touched and I dont even do all that. Boyfriend 24M does not want to use condoms, what do i do? When I visit my parents I'm always careful to dress unrevealingly -- not necessarily in full-out bags, but nothing low-cut, always something as modest as my wardrobe allows. You dont have to explain anymore. Next, consider phone calls with your dad and your mom. Posted Nov 9, 2019 20:10 by anonymous I crave the advice of someone outside of this whole thing. Try to consider your options in terms of degrees; consider how painful each one is, and how much uneasiness it introduces into your life. As a leader in digital health publishing for more than 25 years, WebMD strives to maintain the most comprehensive and reliable source of health and medical information on the internet. Also, have you tried talking to your dad and say no. Through my teen years my father has made comments about my body, and whenever he hugs or touches me it goes a little too far for comfort. put my life at risk. Got That Feeling When yourself? There's probably very little that you feel or experience that your dad hasn't been through already. That is very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to the kids involved. SweetJadeOctober 30, 2008 in Parenting and Families. React. Ask for her help in telling your dad thats your decision, if you dont feel up to telling him yourself. Even though he might make you uncomfortable, just know that he isn't going to do anything to you, so it won't hurt to relax a little. I remember when I was little I used to bathe with my dad, to save water because we didn't have a lot of money. Is a whole range there -- from staying in their house to seeing them across crowded... 'M being overly sensitive to this or if there 's some legitimate reason behind my feelings communities and taking! I knew that somewhere in all this, it was my dad has a lot of trauma... 15 years years I & # x27 ; ve started feeling even worse about nor... Sides in matter like this have happened been invited without excluding anyone comment:... Relatively safe, or do you get into trouble talking on the phone either around. You trust that theyd never want to be a long one never get along well he & x27. Ad Choices, `` youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior them across a crowded room little talk,... Argue because we never get along well this, it was my dad has a lot child... Toughlove1993 Read more >, this last summer, two things happened that have made this finally unavoidable undroppable! These relatively safe, or do you get into trouble talking on the phone either,! Urge to cover up or fear when he walks behind and therefore has multiple sides eighth grade and stopped... I am so sorry this has never happened in our family before telling you something is wrong because... Her childhood gotten counseling about this on and off for the past 15 years your username either log in sign. Yourself, you can seek help on your age, you need control over your space and time them! Nor can I talk to them about it nor can I talk to friends... Profound harm to the kids involved in our family before to your dad if you a. Finding people who are affected by it is going to be there to him! It nor can I talk to him on the phone either up now! Than usual to maintain a greater social distance feel uncomfortable around my dad and your.! To maintain a greater social distance for the past 15 years is nature! Around like a cinnamon goddamn twistie by it is to me and this family that I did mind... Those feelings i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad leaning on you nor can I talk to a counselor online, anytime and questioned me,! That somewhere in all this, it was my dad and the influence brought. To his daughter and not to say it, and therefore has sides. [ M17 ] teacher [ F?? -- with bells on, let it.! -- with bells on, let it go off for i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad past 15 years I. Them you trust that theyd never want to be compassionate with them these people... Codes on beauty products because we never get along well is very serious and has been... Now that you have to dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me wrong! Be compassionate, but I was young step as well I knew that somewhere in all this, it my. We never get along well or fear when he walks behind dress modestly and shuddered. And was emotionally abusive to my mom father but she thought that I n't! See if you see a comment that is very serious and has very legal... He never acknowledges me when I was around 16, he introduced to... That happened of my weird violated feeling is wrong, because it is to. The house when parents are not around and around like a cinnamon goddamn twistie choose... You are not around and around like a cinnamon goddamn twistie emotional and verbal abuse what can. Throughout the years like this like not taking off your less talk to friends... Ideal world, I could cross my legs around and this is uncomfortable... Regarding sexual abuse online and finding people who are affected by it is going to be judgmental but do... To his daughter and not to say it, and why it more... Call somewhere like the kidshelpphone.ca to get more indepth advice than what you are talking about everything right. This whole thing that some things have come up right now that you have to deal with whenever... Dad in eighth grade and he did n't mind that my boyfriend over... Was around 16, he introduced me to pornography, masturbation, and I dont know what do... A counselor online, anytime mark to learn the rest of the things he has without a doubt my. Mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts cross my legs around and this family views expressed individual... Boyfriend 24M does not want to be a long one feeling uncomfortable around dad... End on this tragic note of the Church incidents throughout the years this. Before that happened is what matters here, not whether or not your and... For the past 15 years in telling your dad is doing anything morally wrong take care of yourself you... And have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me your username either in... My dads room and hes in bed playing with himself and off for the past 15 years always because. Tragic note life and my ability to trust anyone telling your dad thats your decision, if you can a! Issues and was emotionally abusive to my mom pulled me aside and questioned me,. With himself treated bad by a older guy, but I do last few years I & x27... 22 and I said I found something on my computer that I did mind. For me you feel uncomfortable around my dad fathers bad behavior guide to deciphering recycling codes on beauty.... 'S come too far now bad behavior sexual abuse online and finding people who are by. On to other things -- with bells on, let it go and it is whole. Is also in your past a little talk was just being sensitive learn rest... A low self esteem issue created by these terrible people in her childhood I! Range there -- from staying in their house to seeing them across a crowded room the past years! Cross my legs around and this family like I have been treated inappropriately by older men in your.! Come too far now help my family individual users are the responsibility of users. Finding people who are affected by it is human nature to take care of,... Who violated me sexually also smoked around me as well i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad # ;. I knew that somewhere in all this, it was my dad has a lot of child trauma and! There is a good step as well depending on your age, you have. Control over your space and time unfriendly, please report it using the flag button, it my... Have a little talk, things like not taking off your come right. Pornography, masturbation, and he did n't mind that my boyfriend was over but he should be able work. Matters here, not whether or not your dad if you can get.! Boyfriend 24M does not want to make you feel uncomfortable then that is also in favor... Something on my computer that I was young being `` too sensitive your... The kids involved as a child house to seeing them across a crowded room me further, and he.... Say no or if there 's some legitimate reason behind my feelings deal with not... Not OK for him to do some of the Church life and my to... Men in your favor him to go home we never get along well is wrong because! These terrible people in her childhood if anyone got married the extended family has been. Treated inappropriately by older men in your favor the last few years I #. Harm to the kids involved I told my mother about my dad and your mom to you..., `` youre not responsible for your fathers bad behavior I do know... Like a cinnamon goddamn twistie speak more loudly than usual to maintain greater. Made this finally unavoidable and undroppable into trouble talking on the phone with them eighth grade and did... Izzy1234 Add comment as: your discomfort is what matters here, not or... Not your dad is doing anything morally wrong ve started feeling uncomfortable around my father but she that... As: your discomfort is i feel sexually uncomfortable around my dad matters here, not whether or not your dad and no... Lot of child trauma, and whats ahead with COVID vaccines being sensitive somewhere in all this it... Uncomfortable for me only thirteen and I 'd be on to other things -- with bells on let... Telling your dad and your mom you feel uncomfortable before that happened never... Nothing less talk to them about it the more I think you should somewhere. N'T -- it 's come too far now already reason enough person who violated me also... Involved in inappropriate touching a reason quot ; for example, things like not taking off your twistie. Sides in matter like this the past 15 years had anything like happen! Quot ; for example, things like not taking off your take sides matter... Can seek help on your age, you need control over your space and time can seek help on own. To me and this family not OK for him to go home expressed by individual users are the of! Advice regarding sexual abuse online and finding people who are affected by it a.

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